So the Thursday before last I had to go to hospital for a gastroscopy….you know where they put a camera down into your stomach to have a little nose around. My rheumatologist had been concerned about the pain and nausea that I had been having in my stomach for some while and wanted it checked out in case it was anything nasty. Well thankfully it wasn’t but now I’m back to square one again not knowing what it is. I think it’s only IBS…..now I don’t mean “only” IBS because the pain can be so severe but that’s far nicer to think off than cancer!
Anyway, I was absolutely petrified at the thought of having this done. See I have this strange and weird fear of swallowing something and feeling it moving around inside me and not being able to get it out….told you it was weird!
So I go in to the hospital and go to check in at the admissions desk only to be told that there was no record of me having anything done that day, in fact there was no record of the doctor doing any procedures that afternoon at all. Being the helpful person that I am I said that I could go home……I know I know I’m a big chicken. But the lady said to wait and she’d sort it out. About 5 or 10 minutes later she came back with a few pages and told me that I was all sorted and could take the lift to the 3rd floor where the endoscopy department was. At this point I didn’t know if I was relieved or ready to pass out with the anxiety that I was feeling. I kept thinking this mix up was a sign that I shouldn’t be having this procedure done today and I’d be better off going home but instead I followed her instructions and took the lift to the 3rd floor to the endoscopy department.
When I got there there was a couple waiting in the waiting area so I thought great lets hope they go first and they just might forget about me…..wishful thinking I know. I hand in my admission forms and head back to the waiting area. I started chatting with the couple that were there and it turned out that the gentleman was an old hand at having this procedure done and they tried to assure me that it would be fine and I wouldn’t even know what was happening. Shortly after I was called and given a bed. Now at this point I have to say that the nurses and the young doctor that was with them were absolutely amazing, they couldn’t have been nicer. They chatted and joked with everyone in the ward, explained what was going to happen if you wanted to know and they even tried to help me relax….nothing short of the old Acme hammer or anvil could do that I’m afraid.
So after about an hour it was my turn to go in. I was wheeled in on the bed they gave me and the nurses went through a few things with me and reassured me that it would all be over before I knew it. Then a god appeared…..no not really it was just the doctor but you could have been mistaken by the full of himself bad attitude he had. No hello how are you? or don’t worry it will all be fine, no reassurance whatsoever from him not even an hello. You could see by the nurses faces that they even noticed so it wasn’t all in my head. Apparently someone had forgotten to include my referral letter in my file and he was not impressed. Another sign!
So I’ve the line in my arm and a plastic circular thing in my mouth that resembled some sort of weird mouth gag thing that might be part of some strange sex act. Now I’m not really sure how or when they gave me the sedative but I started to feel strange and I was out. And that is the end of my story.
Well not quiet! While I was sedated I felt something hurting me and I began to come around. I could feel the doctor pushing the camera down my intestines and scraping off them and it hurt. Then I could feel something moving around in my stomach. Just perfect one of my greatest fears was happening and I was semi sedated and couldn’t do anything about it. So I tried to put my arm up not once or twice but three times to try remove what was hurting me. At which point I could hear one of the nurses shouting oh don’t don’t don’t. She sounded panicked…..see they probably should have paid more attention when I told them they should knock me out completely lol Needless to say I was quickly given more sedation to keep my crazy arm and me under control. Shortly after I woke up back in the ward and was rewarded with tea and toast. The “god” then appeared after a while and gave me my results and I was free to go home.
At the time this experience was terrifying for me and I swore that never again would I have a gastroscopy done but now after having time to think about it I probably would go for round two if I needed too but next time I will tell them to take their time doing it and give me lots and lots of sedation!
Have a wonderful weekend and chat again soon x